she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
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she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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