plz talk dirty to me
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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