OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
