I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
