Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
