I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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