Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
