they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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