sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you would pick up someone in the library
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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