Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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