I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize