Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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