I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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