ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
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My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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