sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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