I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
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I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm bleeding and have questions
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize