So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
