He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
