So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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