lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
