I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
