Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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