My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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