she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think my moral compass just broke
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