my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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