Your tits are I can't wait for
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
