Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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