Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
