I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
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She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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