All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
