Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
