The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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