We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
