We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
