we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
