you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
