I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
