dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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