Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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