no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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