I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
