After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize