i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
