Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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