no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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