i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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