Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
