hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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