bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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