We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
