wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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