First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
