We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
