yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
