Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This is my gift to your gina
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
