my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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