My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
