Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?