worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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